Everyone has experienced this situation at a forró party: Suddenly there is a dance partner in front of you asking to dance and for whatever reason you don't really want to accept. Still, you don't want to be impolite, so you accept it anyway. You don't really feel comfortable though, do you? Is this situation avoidable?
The truth is, the person asking for the dance can change all this! Here are some great and easy tips!
4 Hacks: asking for a dance
- Briefly observe the other person. What is he or she tending to do? Searching for a new partner, getting off the dancefloor (maybe in direction to the exit or the toilets?), ...
- Try to get in nice contact with the person. Don't touch him/her in an inappropriate way. Try to build eye contact or maybe touch slightly at her/his shoulder if the person is not noticing you.
- Asking to dance means exactly this: ASK! Many times partners are pulled to the dancefloor without a word. It may be with a smile, or maybe you are friends, but that doesn't have to change anything. Give him or her the opportunity to refuse, maybe there is a certain reason you don't know.
- Offer an option, like "Would you like to dance with me, or do you need a little break right now?" Adapt the option to the observations you did before. It creates the feeling that is completely okay, to refuse the dance. You take the pressure from the person.
The connection in Forró doesn't start with the hug. It starts when you interact the first time with your partner. You can already prepare a nice dance before you start with the first steps. As well as you can ruin the dance before starting it, for example by pulling your partner towards the dancefloor against their will.
For shy people asking for a dance is a problem. How to overcome it? There is only one solution: Leave your comfort zone and practise it!! It is easier to start with people you already know, followed by people you have seen before and when you are getting better and more secure ask the people you never saw before. Everyone has started like this and everyone knows how much overcoming is needed in the beginning. For this reason, 99% of forrozeir@s will be honoured that you overcame your shyness to ask for a dance with them! However, you will get used to it pretty much and that helps not only on the dancefloor, but as well in life!
This advice is independent of women, men, leader or follower. Fortunatly we aren't in the medieval, so everyone can ask everyone to dance. Many times, there are too many followers at parties. So, if you want to dance at these nights you must try to get used to ask for dances!
Don't be a Prince/Princess
Every city has its princes and princesses. They don't ask for dances but they wait until they get asked or they ask only the best dancers. Forró is a social dance and everybody has a responsibility towards the local scene. Don't refuse to dance with someone who has less dance experience. Everyone has something to give into a dance beyond his or her dancing ability. You will loose your chance to discover something unique in a dance, if you only dance with those, you expect to dance the way you are accustomed to. Everyone is free to choose their dance partners, but remember once in a while, to not miss out dancing with a beginner. Ask for a dance, give all your heart to the dance and make you as well as the beginner happy. Forró is characterized by the welcoming atmosphere we all create together.
Author: Philip Faderl
He is a passionate Forrózeiro since 2014 and propagates Forró as a social dance. He realized that in Forró the sociality and the community allways have been fundamental. Therefor his lessons are not exclusively about dance, he never forgets to talk about these aspects.